


Quiet Longing

by lyo



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:37:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyo/pseuds/lyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small moment between Nathaniel and Jason, about readjusting friendships and cuddling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet Longing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ViviChick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViviChick/gifts).



> For Vivichick  
> 

It’s late. The club is almost closed and Jason watches Nathaniel pull his hair up, braiding it carefully. It looks heavy and thick, and he touches Nathaniel’s shoulder. “Let me help?”

Nathaniel grins over his shoulder. “Okay.”

Touching Nathaniel feels good; it feels better than it did before he became Anita’s wolf to call. He likes that. The idea of being tied down terrifies him still, but being tied to Anita is nothing like that. It’s touch and feeling and sex, but it isn’t the monogamy that gives him cold sweats at night.

He leans forward to smell Nathaniel’s hair. He hasn’t washed it since the performance, so it smells more like body glitter and sweat than it does vanilla.

“What are you doing?” Nathaniel asks. He turns his head a little. “Jason?”

Jason shrugs one shoulder and goes back to braiding, crossing one hank of hair over another. He’s humming a little under his breath, the music that he danced to tonight. “What are you guys doing tonight?”

He asks carefully because it’s a night that's just supposed to be Micah, Nathaniel, and Anita. They’re trying for more alone time, even though it’s risky with the all-seeing vampire bitch queen out there. Jean-Claude and Asher will be close, in another room, and Jason knows he can stay with them if he wants, just… sometimes he misses hanging out with Nathaniel because they’re friends, because they like each other. He misses pizza runs and practicing dances together for fun.

“You’re being too serious.” Nathaniel picks up a mirror and looks at Jason over his shoulder with it. “That’s not like you.”

“Just have a lot on my mind.”

Nathaniel nods. “Yeah, I get that.”

Jason sniffs at Nathaniel’s hair again. It smells like home.

“Jason.” This time Nathaniel turns in his seat and pulls the braid away. It’s only done to the middle of his back, and he doesn’t seem to care. He lays his hands over Jason’s, and he’s smiling, violet eyes soft. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, because he doesn’t know what’s wrong. He doesn’t know what to say to Nathaniel. They see each other every day now; saying “I miss you” seems dumb. It seems like he’s whining. Nathaniel laughs a little, then, and he wraps his arms around Jason’s shoulders. He’s strong and fragile at the same time, and Jason is reminded of the time when he wasn’t sure about himself, when he thought Nathaniel was the most beautiful person he’d ever known, that was still alive anyway. Jean-Claude was still ruling supreme as the most beautiful being.

“It’s okay.” Nathaniel touches the side of his face. “Tell me what’s up.”

Jason hasn’t seen JJ in months now. She’s too busy between shows. He misses her, enough that he’s almost scared of how much. And a little unsure of it. But at the same time, he leans against Nathaniel and breathes in his skin and remembers exactly how glad he is to be right here, right at this moment. He doesn’t have words for how he feels.

Nathaniel laughs then, soft and gentle, and he gets one arm around Jason’s shoulder. Sometimes it’s surprising to realize how much he’s grown. He’s not a young guy anymore; he really is a man.

“The car’s here,” Nathaniel says. He rubs a hand along Jason’s arm.

They get into the back of the limo, and Jean Claude doesn’t join them. It’s just the two of them, which is odd. Usually, the limo is full of people who bunk over at the circus. Jason shifts on the expensive chair and looks out one of the window, watching downtown St. Louis begin to whiz by.

He isn’t expecting Nathaniel to touch his shoulders and pull him close, so Jason’s head is in Nathaniel’s lap. It’s strangely dominant for the wereleopard, his fingers threading through Jason’s hair.

“You can tell me what’s wrong,” he says. He looks almost sad.

Jason sighs and rolls over, so his cheek is pressed against Nathaniel’s thigh but he can’t see those huge sad eyes. “Just missing stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Stupid things.” He shifts a little, trying to get comfortable when he can feel Nathaniel looking at him.

“Jason,” he says, and his tone is light, careful. All the time he’s spent with Anita has taught him how to handle delicate moments, tense moments. The idea of being as difficult as Anita should mollify Jason a little, but it doesn’t.

He feels strange in his own skin, and he feels stranger still when he admits, “I miss you, how things used to be, before the mother of all nightmares decided to come and pay us visits again.”

Nathaniel relaxed a little and leaned down. He pressed a chaste kiss to Jason’s forehead, the first hints of stubble on his chin. He wouldn’t shave before he slept tonight.

“I could ask Micah and Anita, if you want to stay over—“

“I don’t want to put Micah out, and you guys are trying to spend more time together.” He rolls over again. His cheek is almost against Nathaniel’s cock, and it doesn’t bother him. He has a flash of memory, of sharing him with Anita. He shakes the memory away.

Nathaniel sighs and arranges Jason’s hair again, separating his bangs and then mussing it all up again. “You’re my best friend,” Nathaniel says, and there’s a hint of something else in his voice, tense and sure and ready. “If I ask for you in my bed, Micah will allow it for a night. We don’t have to fuck.”

“Well, actually you do,” he says. He doesn’t have a watch, but he’s sure that Anita needs to feed before the sun comes up. “I can go hang out with Stephen or Gregory or something. I’m sure there’s someone who can hang out for a night.”

Nathaniel shakes his head and traces the planes of Jason’s face. “You’re going to join us tonight, even if it’s just for cuddling. You’re sad.”

Jason wants to argue, but Nathaniel kisses him again, just the chase press of lips that he’s starting doing more and more since Mephistopheles joined their group. He kisses Jason, and Jason kisses back, just as gentle, and he lets Nathaniel curl around him until they pull into the circus lot and Anita is there waiting for them.  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. :)


End file.
